Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
