Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We left an ass print on the piano.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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