Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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