I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
