i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
