I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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