When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
