Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
