I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize