were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
