I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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