No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
