Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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