he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize