just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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