And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
