Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
His nipple licking is glorious
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