I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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