Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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