Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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