I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
