cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
