it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
that is very illegal...i love you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
