Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Someone came in the potted fern
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
