Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He had one of those small greek statue penises
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I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
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The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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