Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
