fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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