do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
