She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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