i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.