Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Four minutes until I can fart!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.