I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
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He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
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You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home