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• (616): View more from Michigan

  its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

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• (607): View more from New York

  i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.

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  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

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• (917): View more from New York City

  After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.

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  19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Right now you and beer are my only friends.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I need dunkaroos back in my life.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.

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