Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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