; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
