They should really pass out barf bags in church
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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