no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
