Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
