Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
