Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize