I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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