They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
