Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
