ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
