In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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