Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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