i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
