Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
