i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
