Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
