she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize