I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
