The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
