3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize