he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Randomize
