my sisters under your porch take her home
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize