I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
