I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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