It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
