please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
