I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
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He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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