I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
