ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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