apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize