Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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