I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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